Posted on November 29th, 2010
If you’re a caregiver, you know that it’s a full-time job. It can be even more difficult when you already have a full-time career and a family to raise. Many caregivers often realize that they can do a better job of taking care of their parents and elder family members with someone’s help.
Aging Advocate Deborah Dolan finds that many of the clients she works with are in a jam or a crisis situation. Many are looking for a neutral facilitator because parents don’t always want to hand over the power to their children, or they might feel as if they are not ready to do so. In order to get to the bottom of the situation to decide what’s best for everyone, Deborah recommends using a professional, non-biased facilitator to ask questions and lead problem-solving discussions. A facilitator will allow the adult child to remain as the parent’s child and not reverse the roles. Typically, Deborah finds that the elderly parents are more willing to listen to an outside resource rather than their own child.
“As a caregiver, you must be willing to take a stand and be honest with parents and elderly family members to let them know that you are concerned for their health and safety,” said Deborah. “You have to ask them to trust you and on occasion your judgment, and using a neutral facilitator can help families address important issues and answer necessary questions.”
Ask yourself if there are any unresolved issues that you need to take care of for an elderly family member. For example, have your elderly family members designated a medical directive and/or a power of attorney? Keep in mind that it is ideal for people to seek this help ahead of time instead of waiting until it is a crisis.
Posted on November 26th, 2010
Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, discuss the infamous “family meetings” and the role a facilitator can have in these meetings. They will talk about the hard questions to ask, help for making the decisions on choosing a power of attorney, health care power of attorney and what other decisions need to be made before a crisis situation would arise.
Links from Podcast:
Honoring Choices Minnesota - a collaborative, community-wide public health initiative led by the Twin Cities Medical Society. The goal of Honoring Choices Minnesota (HCM) is to promote discussions about end of life choices and to assist health care organizations with the installation of a comprehensive advance care planning program.
DNR Order (Do Not Resuscitate) – can also be called a living will, indicates whether you would like heroic measures to be taken if your heart should fail.
POH – Physician’s order for life sustaining treatments
Five Wishes
General Power of Attorney & Healthcare Power of Attorney
Tags: aging, dnr, dnr order, elder care, elderly advocacy, family meeting facilitator, family meetings, five wishes, general power of attorney, health care power of attorney, healthcare power of attorney, honoring choices minnesota, honoring choices mn, living will, medical directive, power of attorney
Posted on November 24th, 2010
In personal relationships, such as marriage and friendship, we look for certain attributes that we have identified as qualities we admire or value. Even in business relationships, such as with our doctor, lawyer, banker, and even our hairdresser, we look for characteristics that are connected to our personal belief system; people we believe we can trust to do the “right thing.” Yet as we grow older, we often choose our advocate, the person who will be our voice when we are unable to speak for ourselves, based on something other than the specific traits needed to be effective in that role. We chose someone for this important job based on placement in the family, proximity to where we live, or we allow our advocate to be chosen for us by not choosing one.
“Choose your advocate with the same thoughtful consideration you would choose any one to represent you,” suggests Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging. “Make a list of traits that you would want a person to possess in order to be the best representative of you.” Qualities Deborah has found in strong advocates include compassion, insight, understanding, courage, confidence, warmth, responsiveness, and empathy.
According to Deborah, these qualities are necessary in the face of sudden, difficult decisions, such as medical treatment, financial responsibility, and daily care. As we grow older, a change or a crisis often looms around the corner; one which won’t give us time to think through a plan of action. We need someone who is able and willing to understand the issue and to act in a way that is compatible with our personal beliefs. We need someone who will metaphorically “step into our shoes” and understand how we would want to proceed. That trait is called empathy and not everyone has developed it, but Deborah feels it can be learned. She believes empathy will come only with a strong desire and concentrated effort to learn to place one’s self in another person’s situation. You must act according to that person’s wishes, not on your own desires.
When the time comes for you to name a personal representative, someone to speak on your behalf if you are unable to speak for yourself, make sure you think about the personal characteristics of the potential candidates. Think beyond who they are and consider what knowledge, skills and abilities they have that would make one of them the right advocate for you.
On the other hand, if you are asked to be a caregiver or a power of attorney, ask yourself if you possess the personal attributes necessary to do the job effectively. Be honest with yourself. Are you are the best person for the job? Are you compassionate, empathetic, and supportive? Do you have the courage to make decisions for another person?
This isn’t an easy choice, but a very important one. Make sure you select the best person for the job. Conversely, be sure you are the best person to represent another person’s interest. Some very important decisions lie in the hands of an advocate.
Posted on November 22nd, 2010
We’ve been hearing so much about health care reform how is it effecting the elderly population? Deborah Dolan and Kevyn Burger discuss the health care reform, changes in Medicare, the “donut hole”, resources for more information and help.
Links from Podcast:
Senior LinkAge Line – 1-800-333-2433
Free to call! The Senior LinkAge Line® can help simplify the complex issues and decisions you face every day as a senior, Baby Boomer, Medicare beneficiary, caregiver or someone trying to reduce their prescription drug costs.
Tags: affordable health care act, changes to medicare, donut hole, health care, Health Care Reform, healthcare, insurance donut hole, Medicare, medicare donut hole, Medicare Part D, medications for the elderly, Prevention, senior linkage line, the donut hole
Posted on November 18th, 2010
Advocate on Aging Deborah Dolan’s job is to facilitate conversations about care giving between families and loved ones – not control it. She is simply included in order to start and direct discussions, especially when it comes to difficult topics such as legal issues, death and dying. Certain topics are typically more difficult to discuss without a neutral facilitator, such as assigning powers to designated individuals. Deborah stresses to her clients that every caregiver should know the differences between a general power of attorney, and a healthcare power of attorney. Here’s what you need to know when it comes to these powers:
A fiduciary or general power of attorney is in place to handle financial assets including property, money, life insurance, and investments. Whether a person needs to have property sold to pay for their care, have bank accounts changed in any way, the assigned general power of attorney has the same ability to handle all financial transactions that the owner of the asset has. It is important to remember that this power ends with the death of the person granting the power, and the executor of the estate takes over. Deborah sees some clients, who are afraid to designate a power of attorney because they fear losing control over their assets, or that someone will take their money and they won’t have it when they need it. Deborah facilitates these discussions in order to help the elder and their families address these issues before the powers or information is needed and not in crisis. Although Deborah is not an attorney, she is able to refer her clients to attorneys and recommends that an attorney assist in writing this document.
A healthcare power of attorney is usually included in a healthcare directive and designates an individual who, in Deborah’s words, “gives voice to the wishes of how a person wants to live and how he or she wants to die.” This healthcare power of attorney agrees that if the person giving the power becomes ill or incapacitated and is unable to speak, they will honor and direct that person’s care as written to the best of his or her ability. Unlike the financial power of attorney, a healthcare power of attorney and directive does not have to have an attorney involved. There are resources available online which are legally binding and honored when the signature of the person assigning the power is notarized or witnessed by two non-interested parties. Two such forms are Five Wishes and Honoring Choices Minnesota.
There is much to do and many decisions to make when a health crisis occurs. Giving the gift of information needed to carry out personal wishes when you are no longer able to speak for yourself is a gift of love and peace.
Tags: advocate on aging, aging, caregiving, fiduciary power of attorney, five wishes, general power of attorney, healthcare directive, healthcare power of attorney, honoring choices minnesota, honoring choices mn, power of attorney
Posted on November 16th, 2010
Aging Advocate Deborah Dolan & host Kevyn Burger discuss aging for members of the GLBT community and how they are effected. Deborah has moderated panels for the GLBT community to discuss aging issues, housing, caregiving resources, etc. The biggest fear Deborah hears for GLBT community members is the fear of not receiving adequate care in living facilities as they age. Training To Serve is working to take care of that issue by providing training to help service providers meet the needs of the GLBT comunity and it’s members.
Tags: aging, aging advocate, deborah dolan, GLBT, glbt aging issues, glbt caregiving, glbt community, glbt housing, glbt resources, kevyn burger, training to serve
Posted on November 11th, 2010
Today is National Veterans Day and all around the world there are men and woman fighting for our freedom. As you celebrate this time remember those nearest and dearest to your heart that care for you as it is also National Family Caregivers Month. A caregiver does not always have to be someone who takes care of you physically but can just care for you in a supportive and emotionally way. Who do you want to thank during this time, a brother, sister, parent, child, niece, nephew, grandchild? We’d love to hear who are the most cared for people out there and why!
Posted on November 9th, 2010
Who’s the caregiver in your family? Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, talk about help for families, geriatric care managers and the sandwich generation. During the show, they invite client, Kari, in to talk about how care managers have helped her as the main care provider in her family.
Tags: advocate, advocate on aging, caregivers, crisis management for the elderly, elder care planning, elderly caregivers, elderly help, family caregivers, geriatric care manager, help for families, medical directive, power of attorney, preventative planning, senior help, the sandwich generation, transitional care
Posted on November 4th, 2010
It has been a wild, weird weather week even by Minnesota standards. With the extremely low barometric pressure, the elderly and even Deborah and Kevyn, have experienced aches and pains. Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, discuss how the winter can effect the elderly causing aches and pains, feelings of depression and even SADness (Seasonal-Affective Disorder).
Tags: aches and pains in the elderly, aging, barometric pressure, caregivers, depression, effects on the elderly population, low barometric pressure, low barometric pressure effects, SAD, Seasonal-Affective Disorder, seniors, winder SAD
Posted on November 1st, 2010
Click on the play button below to hear this episode of the Advocate on Aging.
There are gifts far beyond financial ones that are really relevant to families such as a living will. Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, discuss these gifts and what you can do to help your family be prepared during the aging process.
Links from Podcast:
5 Wishes - Easy to use forms that are self-written and walks you through your choices for living and after life (honored in the State of MN).
Tags: 5 Wishes, discussing hard topics, executor of an estate, financial power of attorney, health care power of attorney, healthcare power of attorney, living will, power of attorney, preparing for the aging process, preparing for the golden years, talking to your family about hard topics, wills
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