The journey has been difficult to date, but nothing compared to what lies ahead.  In 2009 my husband was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.  He had lost around 25 pounds and was demonstrating symptoms of depression.  But being a salesman in the current economy was a daily exercise in frustration to say the least, so I thought I understood.  His symptoms were treated but only the thyroid tests showed significant improvement.  The depression lingered, and none of the usual medications seemed to help.

There was one symptom that made me quite curious.  My husband declined to help with our finances.  I would ask him questions about unusual bills or investment decisions that needed to be made, but he said he didn’t understand how I was handling our money.  After several attempts to explain my way, I asked him to lay out our monthly payments in a way he understood, and we would talk from his perspective.  He never quite got around to doing that.

In the meantime, our loving bond seemed to be strained and sometimes felt non-existent.  What in the world was happening???  Was our marriage in trouble?  My husband showed little interest in planning anything whether it was a trip to the grocery store or a trip to Mexico.  Something was really wrong.  Where should I look to find more answers?

Since we had covered the possible physical ailments, I decided it was time to take a look at his emotional and cognitive well-being.  I asked his doctor for an order for neuropsychological testing.  I half expected him to decline my request; instead he gave the order to me without hesitation.  The test results indicated some depression and some deficit in the executive functioning area of the brain – the frontal lobe.  Fear set in.  This must be a mistake.  Surely not MY husband!

From there we visited a neurologist who ordered an MRI.  The results were normal for my husband’s age – but we expected this outcome.  Then the doctor asked if we wanted to have a PET scan: a high-tech imaging test that looks at the brain differently than an MRI and is more accurate in diagnosing FTD.  We said yes; and the scan said yes.  Degeneration of the frontal lobe, and some left temporal lobe as well as some right temporal lobe degeneration.  Frontotemporal dementia.

Since May 13th, we have attended more doctors’ appointments, adjusted to changes in medication, applied for Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) and quit his job, completed a driving assessment (he passed with restrictions), are very thankful we had decided to buy long term care insurance, and are now living as normal as possible until the disease changes our lives completely.

I will continue my work as a geriatric care manager, but I am closing down both my blog and my podcast session with Kevyn Burger.  Both decisions sadden me deeply, but I know I want as much time to be with my husband as I can find.  Every minute of every day that I know he is in our home with me makes me happy.  I feel his presence even when he’s sitting on the deck reading or vacuuming the rugs or taking a nap.  I want to imprint these moments in my mind.

Thank you for being loyal followers.

“On November 16, 2010,  Advocate On Aging posted a podcast about aging issues of LGBT seniors.  The issues are enormous as noted in this article and often create fear and uncertainty at a time we are losing much of ourselves anyway – our jobs, our friends, our way of life.  For LGBT seniors, they must face the added uncertainty of “coming out” again if they are forced to move into a retirement or continuum of care community.  For transgendered seniors, health issues may require they see doctors other than their primary care providers.  They will be required again to explain their outward presentation of one gender while coping with the illnesses associated with the other gender.  Few people – heterosexual or LGBT — have the long-term, supportive relationship that Joel and Bob (the subjects of this article) have created.  Given time I believe acceptance will occur.  Until then, may we work harder to open our minds, talk, teach and provide non-judgmental support to all who do not fit into some predetermined set of ‘normal’ lifestyle choices.”

“My hat is off to Sound Shores, Senator Suzi Oppenheimer and the State of New York for understanding the needs of their elder population and finding the funds to begin to take care of those needs,” said Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging.  “The only problem I see is that $10,000 is a drop in the bucket for this huge issue.  Not that I’d turn down $10,000 to help the elderly in any way, but there is a bushel basket of fast-growing needs to fill in order for seniors to remain in their homes and as independent as possible.  I love volunteers and volunteerism; I hope some of our healthiest seniors who understand the needs of their peers will volunteer to help.”

Learn more about preserving dignity for seniors.

Should other states follow New York's example to help seniors live independently?

Deborah Dolan, the Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show,  discuss the Social Security Administration’s (SSA) decision to add early-onset Alzheimer’s disease to Compassionate Allowance Initiative. Under this initiative, the SSA finds individuals with certain diseases/conditions eligible for Social Security disability.

Links:

Regional Alzheimer’s Association Conference podcast

Alzheimer’s Association – SSA qualification information

Deborah Dolan, the Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show,  discuss the new film “Over 90 and Loving It.” The two also discuss what it means to have a positive attitude about your current stage in life. As Deborah points out, getting older doesn’t mean that you have to become sedentary! Life after retirement should still be a great part of your life.

Deborah Dolan, the Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, further discuss The Meeting of the Minds: Dementia Conference. The Alzheimers Association partnering with the Mayor Clinic puts on a one-day conference, held at the RiverCentre in St. Paul, Minnesota, that is designed to inform, equip and support persons with dementia, family caregivers and professionals. In this podcast, Deborah & Kevyn discuss the topic of intimacy and sexuality in dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Jan’s Story is a book written by Barry Peterson about redefining our family and romantic directives. Intimacy, Sexuality and Alzheimers Disease” was the topic of the breakout sessions with Glenn Smith, Ph.D., L.P., Professor of Psychology for the College of Medicine, Mayo Clinic.

Is there such thing as a romantic directive?

“Hope grows with every small step taken toward identifying how to immunize against, treat or stop altogether this difficult disease called Alzheimer’s,” said Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging. “Here’s a little more hope and inspiration to add to what we know.”

Read the story.

Staying up to date on news and research regarding aging and the elderly should be a number one priority for caregivers. Deborah Dolan, the Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show discuss The Meeting of the Minds: Dementia Conference. The Alzheimers Association partnering with the Mayor Clinic puts on a one-day conference, held at the RiverCentre in St. Paul Minnsota, that is designed to inform, equip and support persons with dementia, family caregivers and professionals.

Links:

“Jan’s Story” – book written by Barry Peterson about redefining our family and romantic directives.

Intimacy, Sexuality and Alzheimers Disease” – breakout sessions with Glenn Smith Ph.D., L.P., Professor of Psychology for the College of Medicine, Mayo Clinic.

Share photos of your grandkids – or furry friends – through the internet!

Just because you didn’t grow up learning how to use a computer, that doesn’t mean that it’s too late to try it now! Need a few reasons why? How about for communication purposes, to read research and reviews on doctors/medications, to find updated news, to order products/items online instead of having to drive or get a ride to the store – and there are many more reasons! Here are Advocate on Aging Debora Dolan’s top 5 reasons to become comfortable with a computer:

1. The rest of the world depends on the computer for information and communication – time to join in!
2. Your grandkids will say that they know more than you if you don’t become computer literate! Why not become computer savvy to be able to communicate with your family in a different way?
3. It helps you connect with those places you no longer are able to travel to – from the grocery store to the Turkish flea market!
4. The internet gives you the tools to care for yourself. For example, you can keep your medication list on file and current, research the reasons why you have been prescribed a certain medication, or view your medical records.
5. Using a computer gives you reason to think, which means it allows your brain to organize information and solve problems. All of these activities promote mental acuity to help you stay mentally young.

As the baby boomer population ages, will more restaurants need to cater to the needs of seniors?

“Fast forward 20 years, and we baby boomers will have yet another perspective to offer on many aspects of life!” said Advocate on Aging Deborah Dolan.  “Seriously, our citizens over 70 are frequent customers to various restaurants around town.  It would be an excellent business practice to increase the size of the menu font to 14 instead of 12 or smaller, and be sure the font type is simple – straight lines and no curly-ques.”

As for using “cheaters,” or reading glasses, Deborah agrees that they can be very helpful. “Readers in a basket is a good idea. How about those flashlight with magnifying glass in a basket as well to help so the ambiance created by the low-lighting remains intact? Don’t forget the comfort foods on the menu!  I rather like the idea of ‘prune brulee’!  A little creative thinking increases the pleasure for everyone!”