Posted on June 23rd, 2011
On May 13 my world changed. It was a change I thought might be occurring. It was a change I had been researching. It was a change that I desperately did not want. On May 13, my husband was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia or FTD. With those words, the care manager became a caregiver.
The journey has been difficult to date, but nothing compared to what lies ahead. In 2009 my husband was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. He had lost around 25 pounds and was demonstrating symptoms of depression. But being a salesman in the current economy was a daily exercise in frustration to say the least, so I thought I understood. His symptoms were treated but only the thyroid tests showed significant improvement. The depression lingered, and none of the usual medications seemed to help.
There was one symptom that made me quite curious. My husband declined to help with our finances. I would ask him questions about unusual bills or investment decisions that needed to be made, but he said he didn’t understand how I was handling our money. After several attempts to explain my way, I asked him to lay out our monthly payments in a way he understood, and we would talk from his perspective. He never quite got around to doing that.
In the meantime, our loving bond seemed to be strained and sometimes felt non-existent. What in the world was happening??? Was our marriage in trouble? My husband showed little interest in planning anything whether it was a trip to the grocery store or a trip to Mexico. Something was really wrong. Where should I look to find more answers?
Since we had covered the possible physical ailments, I decided it was time to take a look at his emotional and cognitive well-being. I asked his doctor for an order for neuropsychological testing. I half expected him to decline my request; instead he gave the order to me without hesitation. The test results indicated some depression and some deficit in the executive functioning area of the brain – the frontal lobe. Fear set in. This must be a mistake. Surely not MY husband!
From there we visited a neurologist who ordered an MRI. The results were normal for my husband’s age – but we expected this outcome. Then the doctor asked if we wanted to have a PET scan: a high-tech imaging test that looks at the brain differently than an MRI and is more accurate in diagnosing FTD. We said yes; and the scan said yes. Degeneration of the frontal lobe, and some left temporal lobe as well as some right temporal lobe degeneration. Frontotemporal dementia.
Since May 13th, we have attended more doctors’ appointments, adjusted to changes in medication, applied for Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) and quit his job, completed a driving assessment (he passed with restrictions), are very thankful we had decided to buy long term care insurance, and are now living as normal as possible until the disease changes our lives completely.
I will continue my work as a geriatric care manager, but I am closing down both my blog and my podcast session with Kevyn Burger. Both decisions sadden me deeply, but I know I want as much time to be with my husband as I can find. Every minute of every day that I know he is in our home with me makes me happy. I feel his presence even when he’s sitting on the deck reading or vacuuming the rugs or taking a nap. I want to imprint these moments in my mind.
Thank you for being loyal followers.
Posted on May 5th, 2011
Philly.com recently released an article that discussed an equality forum that was held to address problems of lesbian/gay/bisexual/trans-gender (LGBT) seniors. Advocate on Aging Deborah Dolan weighs in on the issues:
“On November 16, 2010, Advocate On Aging posted a podcast about aging issues of LGBT seniors. The issues are enormous as noted in this article and often create fear and uncertainty at a time we are losing much of ourselves anyway – our jobs, our friends, our way of life. For LGBT seniors, they must face the added uncertainty of “coming out” again if they are forced to move into a retirement or continuum of care community. For transgendered seniors, health issues may require they see doctors other than their primary care providers. They will be required again to explain their outward presentation of one gender while coping with the illnesses associated with the other gender. Few people – heterosexual or LGBT — have the long-term, supportive relationship that Joel and Bob (the subjects of this article) have created. Given time I believe acceptance will occur. Until then, may we work harder to open our minds, talk, teach and provide non-judgmental support to all who do not fit into some predetermined set of ‘normal’ lifestyle choices.”
Tags: aging, aging advocate, deborah dolan, elder lgbt, GLBT, glbt aging issues, glbt caregiving, glbt community, glbt housing, glbt resources, kevyn burger, lgbt issues, problems for lgbt seniors, training to serve
Tags: Alzheimer's, alzheimers disease, Compassionate Allowance Initiative, deborah dolan, elder care, geriatric care, kevyn burger, senior blog, Senior Life, senior life transitions, Senior Transitions, social security administration, social security disability, SSA
Posted on April 11th, 2011
Deborah Dolan, the Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, discuss the new film “Over 90 and Loving It.” The two also discuss what it means to have a positive attitude about your current stage in life. As Deborah points out, getting older doesn’t mean that you have to become sedentary! Life after retirement should still be a great part of your life.
Tags: advocate on aging, blog for seniors, care giver, deborah dolan, gerentologist, geriatric care, info for care givers, kevyn burger, life after retirement, love your age, over 90 and loving it, senior blog, senior olympics
Posted on April 4th, 2011
Deborah Dolan, the Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, further discuss The Meeting of the Minds: Dementia Conference. The Alzheimers Association partnering with the Mayor Clinic puts on a one-day conference, held at the RiverCentre in St. Paul, Minnesota, that is designed to inform, equip and support persons with dementia, family caregivers and professionals. In this podcast, Deborah & Kevyn discuss the topic of intimacy and sexuality in dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Jan’s Story is a book written by Barry Peterson about redefining our family and romantic directives. Intimacy, Sexuality and Alzheimers Disease” was the topic of the breakout sessions with Glenn Smith, Ph.D., L.P., Professor of Psychology for the College of Medicine, Mayo Clinic.
Is there such thing as a romantic directive?
Tags: advocate on aging, aging, Alzheimers Association, caregivers, deborah dolan, kevyn burger, mayo clinic, Minnesota, North Dakota, RiverCenter, RiverCentre St. Paul, senior, senior care, senior life transitions, st. paul minnesota
Posted on March 28th, 2011
Staying up to date on news and research regarding aging and the elderly should be a number one priority for caregivers. Deborah Dolan, the Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show discuss The Meeting of the Minds: Dementia Conference. The Alzheimers Association partnering with the Mayor Clinic puts on a one-day conference, held at the RiverCentre in St. Paul Minnsota, that is designed to inform, equip and support persons with dementia, family caregivers and professionals.
Links:
“Jan’s Story” – book written by Barry Peterson about redefining our family and romantic directives.
Intimacy, Sexuality and Alzheimers Disease” – breakout sessions with Glenn Smith Ph.D., L.P., Professor of Psychology for the College of Medicine, Mayo Clinic.
Tags: advocate on aging, aging, Alzheimers Association, caregivers, deborah dolan, kevyn burger, mayo clinic, Minnesota, North Dakota, RiverCenter, RiverCentre St. Paul, senior, senior care, senior life transitions, st. paul minnesota
Posted on March 8th, 2011
In this podcast, Advocate on Aging Deborah Dolan talks with Kevyn Burger about support groups. Support groups are made of people who are going through or have gone through similar experiences. The purpose is to address what each person is dealing with in his or her own life, provide support, and often discuss techniques that can help one another cope with their problems. Sometimes the group is needed by someone who is dealing with issues, and sometimes it is needed by the loved one of a person that has issues. Deborah shares her advice on what to look for in a support group, as well as what they can do for you.
Tags: advice on aging, advocate on aging, advocate on aging advice, aging, common bond groups, deborah dolan, kevyn burger, resource of people, senior, senior living, senior support groups, seniors, support groups, support groups for seniors, support groups of people
Posted on February 28th, 2011
Work, life, balance – companies need to realize that they need to address helping their employees with personal issues and caregiving. Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, discuss employee assistance programs and the need to increase support in the workplace for senior care, caregiving and elder care issues.
Link:
MetLife – Cost of elder care to corporations
Family Medical Leave Act – gives a person the right to take unpaid leave to take care of an immediate family member (child or parent).
Tags: advocate on aging, advocate on aging podcast, aging, cost of elder care for corporations, deborah dolan, deborah dolan advocate on aging, elder care, eldercare, employee assistance program, employee assistance program for seniors, expanding assistance for seniors, family medical leave act, kevyn burger, metlife, podcast, senior, seniors
Posted on February 21st, 2011
Until very recently there has not been a national plan in the US to deal with the issues of Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia. Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, discuss the signing and launch of the National Alzheimer’s Project Act (NAPA) and the effects it will have on research and support for Alzheimer’s Disease. The new plan is going to help develop the treatments that are designed to prevent, halt and reverse the course of Alzheimer’s.
Podcast Links:
National Alzheimers Project Act (NAPA) - On January 4, 2011, The National Alzheimer’s Project Act was signed into law by the President of the United States after having been passed unanimously in both the Senate and House of Representatives. Once enacted, NAPA will create a national strategic plan to address and overcome the rapidly escalating crisis of Alzheimer’s.
Alzheimer’s Association – Their mission is to eliminate Alzheimer’s disease through the advancement of research; to provide and enhance care and support to all affected; and to reduce the risk of dementia through the promotion of brain health.
Tags: advocate on aging, advocate on aging podcast, alzheimer's disease for seniors, Alzheimers Association, deborah dolan, kevyn burger, napa, napa recognizes severity of alzheimers disease, national alzheimers conference, national alzheimers project act, seniors with alzheimers disease
Posted on February 14th, 2011
During Valentine’s Day we often think of sweethearts and love. Deborah Dolan, Advocate on Aging, and Kevyn Burger, host of the show, want to remind everyone that Valentine’s Day is not just for romantic relationships, but for friends and family as well. It is about love that can be shown in a variety of ways – not just smooching! Don’t forget about your loved ones because the thought of those you love can actually decrease pain, whether it is physical or emotional. Choose to live, love and laugh… it can be healing!
Link:
Why Love Doesn’t Hurt by: Sandeep Ravindran (Star Tribune)
Tags: advocate on aging, deborah dolan, happy valentines day, kevyn burger, sandeep ravindran, star tribune article, v day, valentines day, valentines for seniors, vday, why love doesnt hurt
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